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  • TJ Shaver

Young socialists donate all collective land to Native Americans; totals 1 acre

In a stunning show of respect today the Democrat Socialists of America joined together to heal all of the damage done in America’s history. The bold group of young progressives pitched in every bit of property they owned, combined it, and donated it to Native Americans. The total area of the property totals just less than ¾ of an acre. A young progressive had this to say,

“We just wanted to fix history. And we did. We donated every penny we had, which came out to about $1.63, and then we got the idea of donating land. Leaf’s dad is an environmental lawyer, so he’s rich, so he gave Leaf this land. Which we have donated to Native Americans. Your'e welcome!”

They didn’t have an answer when I asked which tribe would be receiving this gracious gift. They seemed to think Native American denotes one monolithic group so I’m not sure who will be receiving the land. I also don’t know what they will do with the land considering it is behind a CVS and is just a vacant lot littered with syringes and soiled prophylactics. A Native American gentleman told me this earlier today,

“We don’t want that piece of $#!t half-acre. What would we even do with it? Thanks for the effort I guess, but we don’t need the help of this particular group of people. We appreciate you wanting to help, but for the love of God stop helping.”

We would stay on the story but the socialists already sold the land to a developer who offered them a way higher price than what they paid for it. They gladly took the money and ran, as socialists are wont to do, every time any of them ever have the chance at all, ever.

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