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  • TJ Shaver

We should all be Karen

Let’s face it. The world we are living in right now is absolutely crazy. The last thing we need is for people to think for themselves. We NEED these “Karens” rights now, because someone does need to speak to the manager. Let me explain why we should all be Karen.

Karen Carpenter. Great singer. Also played the drums. She was in a band with her brother and they called themselves “The Carpenters.” Very appropriate name. We should all be like Karen. We should all be great singers, and learn to play the drums, and start a band with our brother with a perfectly fitting name, and the world would be a better place.

Karen Black. Remember her? Of course you do/don’t. She was a very beautiful and unique looking actress. Still is for all I know, I don’t really do “research.” She was in a Rob Zombie movie, when she was old. How cool is that? Let’s all be Karen, for each other.

You thought I was just going to keep naming Karens? You were correct. Karen Allen. Her first movie was Animal House. You tell me the world would be in lockdown if we hadn’t all been in Animal House. I don’t have any, like, data to prove that, but a world in which we could all do something that cool, would definitely be a world without viruses. So we should all be Karen Allen.

We need to keep spying on our neighbors and calling the cops on each other and booing each other out of supermarkets for not wearing masks. Not just for the Karens we know, but for all the Karens, because to be in this together, we all need to be Karen.

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