Twitter gets hacked and unfortunately survives

We came closer than we’ve been to national peace in a long time yesterday. Some of the most prominent Twitter users in the world had their accounts hacked, and the site was forced to shut down for every blue check mark user. The ones with the blue check marks are the elites, in case you are a total rube and don’t know anything. While they were kicked off of the site, the world suddenly felt more peaceful. Noise that you didn’t know you were hearing faded away. People you used to love but then grew to hate because of Twitter started to seem worthy of love again. Then it came back and all of that disappeared. Jack Dorsey, unfortunately one of the most powerful human beings in the history of the world, had this to say via Myspace,

“We promise that we will never let the site get shut down again. Even one moment of peace in this country is one moment too many. We can’t allow people to remember that they don’t hate each other. We are sorry you almost forgave your family for disagreeing with you, and we vow to make you hate your father again.”

No one knows if Jack Dorsey is even a real person or not. We believe he is a rumor. Twitter unfortunately is very real. Many people were hoping when it crashed that it would never come back. The New York Times might have to start thinking for themselves if they didn’t have the Twitter mobs to tell them what to think every day. People might stop getting fired for bad jokes they made ten years ago. It might start to feel like America again instead of Soviet Russia or Oceania. A man with common sense had this to say,

“If Twitter shut down, the world would immediately become a better place. Something would take its place of course, but at least we’d have a little break. I think I’d take a nap.”

That man has since been cancelled for an old tweet.