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  • TJ Shaver

Trump to wear shock collar in next debate

After the first debacle, I mean debate, there were immediate cries for changes to the rules. The Democrats want to be able to cut the President’s microphone if he tries to interrupt or talk over Joe or go over his time. That plan could backfire though. Donald Trump did Joe Biden an enormous favor by interrupting him so often that Joe was never able to lose his train of thought the way he does every other time he’s on camera. They should be happy Trump kept interrupting. Trump has refused the rule change however, so they have made a bigger demand. Trump will have to wear a shock collar if he wants to participate in another debate. A Biden spokesman shared this in a press conference,

“Trump is mean and bad and evil. Obviously. So we have to treat him like the vicious animal that he is. If he wants to get anywhere near Joe Biden, he better wear a shock collar, and Joe will have the remote. Any time Trump interrupts or says something mean or true, Joe will give him a shock. If he calls Joe out for lying or being senile, we have a back up remote that we will use to shock him, because Joe isn’t great with remote controls.”

The rule change will help keep Trump quiet but they have not said what trick they will be using to make Joe functional for 90 minutes again. I can’t believe they pulled it off once, they almost deserve the win just for doing whatever they had to do to make him awake and mostly coherent for that long. Chris Wallace has already made several requests to hold the remote, just to see what it feels like. His assistant told us this after we promised not to print it,

“Don’t let him get anywhere near that remote. If he gets a hold of it, he will hold that button until Trump is down. I’ve been hearing him muttering about it ever since the debate ended. I’m worried about him.”

We all are.

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