Trump calls on Proud Boys to bash his Covid

The President has been diagnosed with Covid-19 and everyone is praying for his full recovery, including every single person on Twitter and in the media. Not one person has said a single mean thing. Trump’s doctors say he is doing ok but the media insists that his fever is over 105 degrees, he can’t breathe, and he purposely spread the virus to millions of people. Latest reports say Trump is so concerned about his health that he has hired the Proud Boys to go inside and beat the Covid out of him with baseball bats. A source I can’t reveal because of my own lack of integrity overheard Trump saying this in his hospital room,

“Listen, I need the Proud Boys. I told them to stand by and now is the time, I need them to go into my lungs, find the virus, and beat it with baseball bats. Frankly, no one wields a bat like a Proud Boy and they can do terrific things, and trust me, I’ll beat this faster than anyone could, especially Sleepy Joe, and Crooked Hillary.”

As Antifa continues to terrorize cities and burn down property and try to murder cops and harass innocent people, the Proud Boys continue to be a men’s drinking club that loves America and promotes western values. They have been labelled white supremacists and worse even though they have members of almost every race in their group. Joe Biden says Antifa is an idea even though they have branded cells in cities all across America and have been openly rioting for months now. A member of the idea of Antifa told us this after we begged him not to,

“I was offended when Joe Biden said we’re just an idea. I’ve been designing these tee shirts for years now and I’m so proud of our name and logo. We’re definitely real. We also thought we made that clear when we tried to burn down buildings with cops inside. We’ve done a lot of damage to just pretend we don’t exist. 35 people have died in the riots. A Trump supporter was executed in the street by an avowed Antifa member. We deserve some respect.”

Meanwhile the Proud Boys beat the Covid out of Donald Trump and he has made a full recovery.