Trump colluding to booby-trap White House

New video footage has been released by the totally legit media that proves that Donald Trump is trying to murder Joe Biden if he enters the White House. The video clearly shows Donald Trump approaching Kevin Mcallister, a young man infamous for creating elaborate booby-traps that can cause serious injury or even death. Unnamed sources have proven that Trump offered young Kevin a million dollars to help him set the White House up so that if Joe Biden enters he will burn his hand on the door knob, get a swinging paint can to the face, and probably have a tarantula placed on his head as he lays on the ground in terror, and many, many more painful surprises. A man familiar with Kevin and a member of the crime organization known as the Sticky Bandits wrote us this letter from prison,

“Don’t mess with that kid. He’s unbeatable. If he has some serious funding now there’s no telling what he could do. Especially in the White House. Expect nukes to be armed and pointed at you when you walk in. You can never underestimate that little punk.”

The media has declared Biden the winner of the election but there are court cases that have to be settled before it becomes official. According to the media and democrats it was a fair election and a fair win. That means in 2016 the Obama administration let Russia steal an election. It also means that Donald Trump made sure we had a free and fair election this time. If their craziest theories are true, Obama let the worst thing in the history of American elections occur, and Donald Trump saved America. Let’s just hope no one realizes this. An expert on setting up booby-traps for your political opponents shared this,

“What are you asking me? I’m an expert in that? I don’t know what you’re talking about but I can assure you there are other people around to make sure that doesn’t happen in the White House. Also, that’s Macaulay Culkin and he’s in his 40’s now.”

Reliable sources have proven that Culkin could really use the work. Be careful Joe!