Telling the truth is now a hate crime

In sensitive times like these it is important to remember that feelings matter. They matter so much in fact, that they have become all that matters. The Supreme Court ruled today that telling the truth is now a hate crime. If the truth also happens to offend someone it is a double hate crime, which is a new term invented just for this case. A representative for feelings had this to say,

“We are what matters now. Not facts. Not truth. Us. Feelings. We are running the show, so if you hurt us, you will go to jail and YOU will get hurt.”

We tried to ask some follow up questions but we kept getting accused of hurting the representative. Conservatives are blaming the courts for this decision, because that’s whose fault it is. The deciding vote was cast by Justice John Roberts who had this to say regarding truth,

“Truth? Ah. That doesn’t really matter anymore. Everyone has their own truth now so it’s impossible to have objective truth so when you tell the truth it isn’t the truth to someone else so to them it isn’t truth it’s just hurtful and saying hurtful things should be a hate crime because free speech doesn’t mean freedom from consequences and…”

He went on for another 20 minutes but it was all absolute nonsense, I can’t believe that blithering buffoon gets to decide things. I can guarantee you he will never be charged with telling the truth about anything.