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  • TJ Shaver

'Tattle' snakes take over

Updated: Jul 19, 2020

No one likes a tattle-tale. Until now. Now it’s cool. It’s real cool. If you see someone doing something you disagree with, tell on them. Simple as that. If you tattle you will be praised on social media, the regular media will love you, and you will be considered a hero. Growing up you used to get beat up for it. Now you get to metaphorically beat people up by having them beat up by someone else, arrested, fired from their job, or shamed into having to quit their job and move. What a world we’ve built. A lifelong tattle-tale known colloquially as the American Tattler had this to say,

“I always knew I was right to tell on people for doing things I didn’t like. My whole life people have disliked me for it. Well who’s laughing now? Not me. I have no discernible sense of humor. I’m cool now, though. I’m a hero. If you don’t call me a hero, I’ll tell on you.”

People have been tattled on for not wearing masks, for removing graffiti from businesses they own, for saying something unpopular ten years ago when they were a young idiot, and many other things. All the tales are being tattled. There also seems to be no forgiveness in this new world where tattlers are heroes and people who think for themselves are villains. If you say or do something wrong there is no redemption. A man who was cancelled for not being dedicated to the narrative had this to say,

“Yeah I got fired. It ruined my reputation. I had to move. Cancel culture isn’t real though. Are you hiring? What about just like… a spare bedroom. Do you have one in your house? No I’m good, just curious. I’ll be fine. Don’t print my name though, please. My family hasn’t slept in weeks.”

Tattle snakes all across the country are watching your every move. Behave yourselves.

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