SHOCKING: Bill Clinton is a pervert, LOL

We’re just kidding. No one is shocked. We all knew he was a pervert and a creep and probably a rapist, and we’ve all known it since Arkansas. Well, I was 6, but when I look back at the reports that have surrounded him constantly his entire life, it’s very obvious. Then apparently there was something with an intern once but I’m not really sure. Now we have evidence that he flew on Jeffrey Epstein’s private pervert jet not once, not twice, but an infinite number of times. His alleged wife Hillary told us this through an email that immediately self-destructed,

“Yes, Bill is a creep, a pervert, and a rapist. That is why I married him. I even had sex with him once. No not Chelsea, she was made in a lab, it was just a mistake we made one night when we were young and foolish. No, on our wedding night he left me at the hotel and went to an orgy. It was just a random night. We both regret it and haven’t been comfortable together since, but we stay together, out of political convenience, and because we are both sociopaths.”

Speculation regarding Bill’s involvement with Epstein is mainly just a blast. Nothing will happen to Bill, he is immune from criticism because he is a Democrat apparently. It never made sense to me, especially the way Hillary used to smear his accusers in order to silence them. It would seem the biggest enemies of the #MeToo and #BelieveAllWomen movements are apparently immune from them. A leader of the #MeToo movement explained to us in great detail,

“Who? Bill Clinton? Ummm. Let me google him… Oh yeah, well like he was President a super long time ago he isn’t even relevant anymore. Also, he fights for a woman’s right to murder her child. Yea like Casey Anthony. I mean no, not like Casey Anthony, I mean like, abortion. He is allowed to rape and be a creepy pervert because he supports abortion. That’s just how it works in our minds I don’t know what to tell you.”

We will report back when we figure out why supporting abortion makes it ok to rape children.