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  • TJ Shaver

SCOTUS decides Congress isn't real

In a surprising move today the Supreme Court made a decision that gives them a lot more power. They decided that Congress has been a figment of the collective American imagination for a long time. They determined that it doesn’t exist and that from now on they make up the laws when they feel like it. The deciding vote was cast by Justice Roberts, who is notorious for making deciding votes, most of them horribly misguided. A Supreme Court hype man had this to say,

“Dude, no one knows what Congress is, or where it is, or what it does, or what it pretends to do, or what it doesn’t do, or who is in it. With all of these doubts why believe that it’s even real? It’s such common sense that it has never occurred to anyone to even ask if it actually exists. Today they decided that it does not. As of today, Congress no longer exists.”

Most people are asking what this means since it effectively changes the entire structure of our Government. They were all told to pipe down. So they did. I was wondering how laws would be made now but I was told it was now illegal to ask questions about how laws are made. I finished this report in a cell. The guard had this to say,

“Where the hell did you get that pen? Give it to me….”

I never did get my pen back.

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