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  • TJ Shaver

RNC shocker: Melania has an accent

Updated: Aug 26, 2020

The Republican National Convention is under way and the right seems to be taking a different approach than that of the DNC, or as it’s commonly known, the biggest clown show on Earth. The democrats… well we aren’t sure what the democrats were trying to say or do, but we do know they don’t like Trump. The RNC however has made an effort to showcase regular Americans, something that has democrats utterly baffled(they haven’t heard from an average American in years). Last night First Lady Melania Trump made a fantastic speech that left many Americans scratching their heads. The speech was good, we just didn’t know she had an accent. In theory, yeah of course we knew, we just didn’t expect it to be so… accent-y. Alleged former First Lady Hillary Rodman Clinton Jr. the fourth shared this insight with us via a note made entirely of letters clipped from old issues of Entertainment Weekly,

“The American people knew exactly how terrible and grating my voice was from day one, because I never shut up, even when it wasn’t my place to say anything at all. Melania has just been doing what the First Lady is supposed to be doing, unlike when democrats are in control and the First Lady becomes a power position to get attention and set up your next political move. Also, if she did try to do anything, we wouldn’t let her anyway. Sooo… Yay women?”

This guy Hillary is right. Melania hasn’t put herself in the spotlight the way democrat wives seem to. If you are a democrat the job of First Lady appears to be an elected position that requires you to come up with a healthcare plan or ruin school lunches. That isn’t how things are supposed to be. The First Lady is not supposed to fix our healthcare woes. Deregulating absurd democrat policies is supposed to do that. I’m glad I didn’t know what this First Lady sounded like until the end of her husband’s first term. In fact I’d give up precious and valued body parts to NOT know what Hillard Clintons and Michael Obama sound like. A person whose quote we used to fill out this article scrawled this wisdom on a restroom wall,

“Hillary Clinton might be the worst person on the planet. Except for people like Harvey Weinstein and Jeffrey Epstein. You know, people that are extremely close friends with the Clinton's and Obama's. The extremely close friends of the Clinton's and Obama's are the absolute worst, most perverted, sick and predatory human beings of our time. Argue with that. Any part of it. The friends part, the worst people part. Any of it. Come argue with me please.”

We will never admit that the Obama family and Clinton family are extremely close friends with Harvey Weinstein and Jeffrey Epstein. Also, we will never mention that Michelle Obama speech where she goes on and on about how great Harvey is. Never.

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