RIGHT HOOK Media Empire launched with this headline

Coming From The Right Hook in 2021:

Exciting new merchandise, visual & written content, hot new apps, survival tools & tips, & much much more. Ok, maybe not much much more, but much more. Ok, fine, there’s more, but ‘much’ is a pretty subjective term I guess. I’ll say this… There’s at least one other thing. I probably should have just listed that one too, but we aren’t looking back in 2021, it’s only onward and upward until the wheels come off even though we’re already cruising on 4 donuts that lost any hope of meeting warranty standards at least 250 miles ago and these run-down donuts are all that supports this dilapidated jalopy posing as a constitutional republic and we got two lead feet and an outright disbelief in braking systems as a concept. In other words buckle up b-words, The Right Hook is back and our facts slap back Jack!

Products Out NOW!

To-Go-Kits

Mostly Peaceful Protest kit: Includes One mostly peaceful molotov cocktail, one DNC purchased attorney, one black outfit, one pair of black boots, one black ski mask, one black friend.

Biden Lifeguard Kit: Kit includes One pair of hairy legs, one pair of children to rub them. Whistle not included. Corn Pop defense warranty expires upon purchase. What? Corn Pop was a bad dude, we can't make any promises.

Chuck Schumer erection de-escalation Kit: Includes one picture of Hillary Clinton to defuse any untimely erections the Chuckster may be afflicted with while in the vicinity of Donald Trump (who Schumer has openly admitted having a near uncontrollable sexual attraction towards.) Guaranteed 100% effective… Just ask Bill Clinton.

Jim Acosta Journalism kit: This kit includes One hand-held mirror and one bottle of expired Just For Men hair dye. Adolescent insults, asinine observations, and the rest of Acosta's seemingly infinite charm(ing)less traits not included because there is only one Jim Acosta and that man is Jim Acosta. (Read bottom of page for important Editor's Note}

Apps:

Fredo translator: This app on your phone will translate Chris Cuomo’s rambling nonsensical bull$#!+ into the ignorant meandering drivel it truly is. Price Range: Anywhere between Worthless and Priceless, depending on whether or not you love or hate arrogant air-headed buffoons who take steroids and exaggerate their accent to sound like a tough guy.

Brian Stelter Face Blur App: A vital App for anyone subjected to seeing Brian Stelter’s face on television. This app finds the heinous offender and blurs his entire head so you never have to see the unsettling dome that constitutes the Stelter cranium.

The Right Hook is not responsible for any Stelter sightings outside the reach of this application. Navigate your way through the world with extreme caution while also being wary of and minimizing any risks that could lead you to having to look at Brian Stelter's head and face. Good luck and God bless anyone willing to roll the proverbial dice.

NPR Racism Applicator: This handy app will tell you how every single thing you say and do is racist, even when it isn’t. Especially when it isn’t. Entirely funded by listeners of NPR... well... it's entirely funded by listeners only if you don’t count the billions of dollars extracted from the taxpayers against their will. This communist propaganda machine is an American institution catering to wealthy white democrats who love helping the working class and someday hope to even meet someone who is in the working class.

Apparel

Adam Schiff Neck Brace: This neck brace is made by and for prolific pedophile and professional Witch Hunter Adam Schiff, a man with a comically over-sized and grotesquely bulbous head perched precariously upon a pencil thin neck with even less integrity than the man it centers. Perfect for anyone who is a lying piece of fecal debris and needs extra external material support to carry out their pathetic and corrupt day to day evil activities, shenanigans, tomfoolery and other miscellaneous mischief of the type of which no respectable gentleman would associate himself.

Pelosi Skin Leather Jacket: This seasonal item is made from the actual skin shed by the infamous 'Living Leather' Nancy Pelosi. We've determined that Pelosi is either a lizard person or a snake or a demon or something equally unsettling, unappealing & appallingly unpleasant. All we can be certain of is that she is made of leather and these jackets are selling out fast. The Right Hook is not responsible for the lingering stench of sulfur that seems to be the essence of Hell Itself and will not come out no matter how many dry cleaners you hurl insults at (in what courts will later call a racially motivated attack.)

AOC Capitol 'Riot' Gear: Includes one virtual reality headset so that your attackers can finally exist and therefore give at least a semblance of a molecule of credibility to her claims that she suffered any emotional distress at all. Receive a $50 rebate if you can spot Jussie Smollett's attackers as well. Rebate redeemable in your local breadline within one quarter of a business day as soon quarantine ends and we achieve the utopia only an AOC can promise and/or manifest. (Offer not valid in the United States in its current form.)

MANUFACTURERS SUGGESTION: This riot gear pairs perfectly and seamlessly with the NPR Racism Applicator. We give a 100% guarantee that 100% of the time you will find an infinite number of things to call racist if you use these products in tandem and fecklessly.

Books

AOC’s Economics for Dummies: Content TBD dependent on congress-human Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez actually obtaining even a shred of knowledge re economics. (Find an economist to ghost-write at least one passably credible review. Pay him whatever he asks.)

Murder & the Art of the Mostly Peaceful Protest: Self-explanatory, but I'll explain anyway: Democrats spent most of 2020 endorsing domestic terrorism by endorsing domestic terrorists by calling them peaceful protesters when they knew many of them were not peaceful nor were they protesters. This unforgivable act of ignorance, arrogance and negligence led to at least 50 deaths.

Television

Andrew Cuomo stars in: How To Get Away With Mass Murder: A spin-off of the smash hit show How to Get Away With Murder, except this is just Andrew Cuomo killing old people and getting away with it. He also hates Jews.

Gavin Newsom Presents: Gavin Newsom: The Prettiest Dictator, a story about me, Gavin Newsom: Pre-Order now even though it will never actually be printed or aired anywhere. You will receive a souvenir receipt to commemorate throwing money at Gavin Newsom and getting nothing in return. Claim a collectors edition autographed receipt if you can prove you did NOT sign the petition to have Gavin Newsom removed from office.

Gadgets

Ilhan Omar Jew repellent spray: Perfect for the busy anti-semite who doesn’t have time to de-Jew everywhere they go every day. Sponsored by incest and immigration fraud.

Kamala Harris Ejection Seat: This handy device will conveniently catapult you out of any room you are in as soon as a reporter asks you anything even remotely resembling a question.

Finances

Hunter Biden Credit Card: Accepted anywhere controlled by the Chinese Communist Party. Includes up to 1 billion dollars in unearned credit, payable in favors from “The Big Guy.” No interest rates because the whole thing is illegal and no one has any intention of paying anyone else back for anything, ever. Lots of disgusting and disturbing sex stuff as well but this publication has decided not to publish the lurid and filthy details of Hunter Biden's day to day life.

Furniture

Gavin Newsom Bathroom Vanity: This mirror mirror on the wall will remind you that Gavin Newsom is not only prettiest of them all but definitely prettier than you specifically and he also has more money than you and doesn't have to follow those silly rules that he makes you follow and overall can just do all the things you can’t do. Sales are final regardless of Recall Newsom results.

{EDITOR'S NOTE from p1-4}

(Editor's note) This paragraph was paid for by Jim Acosta for Jim Acosta which is Jim Acosta's charity dedicated to helping further the public image and career of Jim Acosta. Content written by Jim Acosta and final edit approved by Jim Acosta. Jim Acosta thanks you for supporting Jim Acosta.

(Jim Acosta's Note) Jim Acosta does not trust that editor to be fair to Jim Acosta. Buy Jim Acosta's new book Jim Acosta: How Jim Acosta was taken out of context. Written by Jim Acosta to explain the full story of how Jim Acosta was targeted and censored and nearly killed by an editor's note that questioned the integrity of the peerless and fearless Jim Acosta.

-Jim Acosta

More products coming soon!

Products listed are all for sale now! Find them anywhere you find an honest democrat!