Pregnant man cuts off woman's penis

Sad news out of Portland, or some west coast leftist run city. Apparently a very unique couple found themselves in a jam and body parts were lost. A pregnant man(a woman who thinks she is a man and is also pregnant) cut off her girlfriend’s(a man who thinks he is a woman) penis. The pronoun department got laid off due to Covid cutbacks so we have no hope of not offending everyone. The pregnant man had this to say,

“It’s hard enough being a pregnant man. Then my girlfriend gets testicular cancer. It made me so mad because he’s a woman so how could she get testicular cancer? So I just cut that whole area off because she didn’t need it anyway. It didn’t go well. For a woman he was very attached to her penis, quite literally but also mentally.”

The woman who got his penis cut off has not decided whether or not to press charges. She planned to have the surgery at some point but wanted it done by a medical professional, not a mentally ill pregnant man with a bread knife. Lucky for everyone the penisless woman handled the situation well and did not harm his pregnant partner so the baby is still safe inside of his father’s belly. The man with child told us this from his jail cell,

“I was just trying to help. I wanted to solve all of his problems at once. It’s hard enough being a pregnant man. The doctor in here insisted on treating me as if I had female body parts even though I’m clearly a pregnant man. And they call ME crazy! HA!”

We will update the story when he has her child. Her now ex girlfriend did not share his comments on her present condition. (Translation for transphobes: We will update the story when she gives birth to her child. Her ex-boyfriend did not share his comments on his present condition.)