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  • TJ Shaver

Northam forgets mask; Uses klan hood instead

Ralph Northam, Governor of Virginia and infanticide enthusiast/apologist, was the subject of severe criticism recently. Unfortunately for Governor Northam, he forgot to wear his mask on a recent outing. This was around the same time he ordered everyone else in the state to wear masks on all outings. Fortunately for Northam he always carries his old klan hood around in the trunk of his car. Northam had this to say,

“Well I always have it on me. You never know when you’ll need it. I’m also recycling which is good. I recommend everyone carry an old klan getup in their trunk. It can be a mask, a surrender flag, you can use it to wipe off the excess oil after you check the levels in your motor vehicle. Why wouldn’t you carry one?”

It is a piece of fabric so it can be used for many things. I had many questions about why he had it in the first place but he’s a Democrat so I shoved my misgivings deep, deep down inside me and soldiered on. Northam had this to say in parting,

“Have you seen my shoe polish? I’m going to a party tonight…”

No word on whether or not Governor Northam will be in blackface at the party this evening. At the time this article was published he was still unable to locate his shoe polish.

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