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  • TJ Shaver

Mostly peaceful civil war begins

Updated: Jul 27, 2020

We didn’t want to call it that. We didn’t want to have to say it. However, it is what is happening. In Portland the peaceful protests have been going on for almost 2 months and include refreshments, rides, face-painting, commercial grade fireworks being fired directly into federal buildings, armed protesters forcing their way into a federal courthouse and attempting to burn it down, blinding three federal agents with lasers, and a whole lot more that might drive the point home but I think you get it. The local government has ordered the police to stand down and are now suing the federal government for trying to protect federal property from what can only be described as an insurrection. It seems to be a mostly peaceful civil war. A mostly peaceful expert had this to say right before he karate chopped me in the throat leaving me speechless and injured for the foreseeable future,

“It is mostly peaceful. It is. We were out here all day and it was peaceful all day. Once the sun went down it did turn into a battle zone, yes. There were explosions and fights and injuries and maybe we'll have some deaths soon, who knows right? but that was only a couple hours of the day. A small percentage. So, ‘mostly peaceful’ is completely accurate. Aiiyahhh!!!”

Some have called Trump an authoritarian for sending in federal agents but he waited 39 days to do it. So if he is an authoritarian he sucks at it. There were also claims that the agents were unidentified which has been debunked so thoroughly I feel silly even bringing it up. The people were questioned and released, or taken into custody, which seems ok considering they were rioting and attacking federal property for months. If I shot fireworks at a courthouse I would expect to get arrested. Wouldn’t you? A local dummy shared this gem with us as we left,

“As soon as my mom sends me some more money we can buy more fireworks and supplies to burn the building down. That’s how we pay for all of this stuff. Our mommies send us money. They also stand in front of us to protect us, so that if the agents are forced to push us back in any way our moms will be the ones harmed and it will all be on camera and they will look like the bad guys.”

This protest has gotten so peaceful that I may not make it out alive. Tell my family they were ok, I guess, as far as family goes and whatnot.

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