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  • TJ Shaver

Hunger Games to name Seattle next host

The world has been eagerly awaiting the return of the Hunger Games for years. Speculation on who would host the event has been hotly debated. In recent weeks a clear front-runner has emerged. The Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone(CHAZ) has proven to be a remarkable breeding ground for post apocalyptic nonsense that fits in perfectly with the general vibe of the murder fueled games. A spokesperson for the games had this to say,

“There aren’t many places left where you can let children run around murdering each other. Seattle has rapidly devolved into Lord of the Flies though, so it’s the perfect place. I guarantee the highest ratings of all time.”

CHAZ has colonized a six block radius in Seattle. They quickly set up a border wall to keep out undesirables. They established armed checkpoints where they monitor every person coming in. They have an armed police force. There is no freedom of speech. They are running out of food. They are receiving forein aid from the United States. It is the perfect place to host a game show where everyone just murders each other. The games master added,

“The people in the Capitol, or uh, what do you call it here? Hollywood? Right, they’ll lap it up, they love seeing the lower classes tear each other apart from the safety of their mansions with armed security.”

Hollywood Indeed.

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