Hillary Clinton scolds Biden: Why is Tara Reade still alive?

In a leaked interview sent to me by an anonymous source(I’ll call him “Will Clinton”), former failed first lady Hillary Clinton was recorded giving advice to former lifeguard Joe Biden. Jill Biden was conversing with Hillary and Joe was discussing the latest episode of Murder She Wrote. Hillary had this to say,

“Joe what are you doing? This Reade bitch, the one making all the accusations? Why the hell is she alive Joe? Have you learned nothing from us?”

Joe responded by saying that Hillary always gives the best advice and he’s glad she called and he’ll definitely give Tara Reid a call. He hasn’t seen her since he watched her in American Pie back in 93’ or so.

Jill interrupted to tell Hillary that Joe will do exactly what he needs to do and he didn’t do whatever he was accused of, no matter what it is. She went on to point out that even if he did do it it’s not like he’s capable of doing anything like it ever again. “We haven’t had sex in 20 years!” she bragged to Hillary before Hillary mic dropped with “I haven’t had sex with Joe in 20 years either!”

Joe was unavailable for comment. He was there, he was just… unavailable.