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  • TJ Shaver

Harry Markle is a spoiled wanker

America was founded to get away from arrogant twits like this. People didn’t know what was over here or if they would even survive the trip but that was still preferable to spending one more minute around these class-obsessed bozos and the “Crown”. Eventually people did know what was over here and that included brand new diseases and starving to death and being cannibalized, and that was STILL preferable to being around British people. The point is, I don’t care about the Queen, or any of the Princes, or who will be King when the Queen dies(which I’m beginning to suspect is never considering how spry she is and how quickly the end seems to be approaching.) and I certainly don't care about the potential future king's younger brother and the beautiful airhead he married. All that being said, you have to be an absolute moron to leave the royal family. Taking it one step further, when you are an outsider and you somehow find your way into the family even though you aren’t one of the people who is supposed to be allowed in, you must be the most ungrateful and arrogant and clueless buffoon who has ever lived to insist that you and a Prince leave the family because you think their micro-aggressions were a little much. To be clear, I. DON’T. CARE. I don’t care about any of this, it’s stupid and annoying and unnecessary, and as far as I’m concerned, all news concerning the royal family should stay over on the other side of the ocean where we left them. The fact that a royal family still exists is a joke and the fact that Harry and that really hot chick he married are whining and complaining when they are two of the most privileged humans to ever live (their only competition being Adam & Eve pre-serpent-gate) is also a joke, and the fact that I am writing about it IS a joke and that’s the only reason I’m writing this at all. If I had to take this seriously I would seriously take this computer and throw it at the first person I could find with an even vaguely British accent. It’s silly, It’s vapid, It’ self-indulgent mindless entertainment and the two stars of this clown show know exactly what they are doing. If I could tell Harry & the gorgeous brat he married one thing I wouldn’t be able to print it. If I could tell them one thing in a way that was able to be published I would simply tell them to please go home, or at least back across the ocean, leave us out of your middle school drama and solipsistic worldview and shut up, stop complaining, get a job if you want out of your privileged life so bad, join the working world like almost every human on the planet, and realize that I would rather starve, drown, or get scalped and cannibalized than listen to you whine for one more second about yourselves. Cheerio or whatever the hell you dandies say.

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