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  • TJ Shaver

Gender theorist regrets "theoretical" castration

In a bold attempt to prove that gender is a social construct, leading gender theorist Dr. P.H. Dee performed a castration on himself. He was attempting to prove that biology itself is a social construct and there would be no difference after the procedure.

Dr. Dee performed the procedure on himself and botched isn’t the right term so much as misguided. He explained,

“Since gender isn’t real, why would the organs designating gender be real or even necessary? My theory is so sound that even after the disastrous results, I still believe my theory is correct. My pain and torment are social constructs so deeply embedded in my brain that it is still insisting that I am in excruciating pain every second of every day.”

The doctor insists that his theory will someday be proven to be true. He says his only regret is that he cannot perform the experiment again.

“Do I regret it? Yes. But I’d do it 1,000 times again if I had to. I’m right and I know I’m right and I’ll do whatever it takes to prove I’m right. Even if it means losing organs that I’m quite fond of.”

His wife was unavailable for comment because she left him shortly after the procedure.

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