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  • TJ Shaver

"Expert" cancelling Christmas looks oddly familiar

If 2020 has taught us anything, I don’t know what it is. I don’t listen to years. I do know that we have to listen to the experts though. The experts know, like, everything, and they all agree with each other too. The experts are saying that we can’t have Christmas because every person will die if we see our families, the same way every person died when we celebrated Thanksgiving. I don’t want any of the persons to die, so I’ll never celebrate a holiday until the Government tells me I can. The expert with the most expertise shared this message with his local village earlier today,

“There will be no Christmas this year. Not for anyone, anywhere, anyway… anyHoo, I will be taking all of your presents, they are riddled with Covid, and probably salmonella and other unsavory things… I will also be taking all of the food, it is compromised as well, I need every decoration you have and… the star on the top of the tree. Hand that over as well. Now me and my chauffeur Max will be leaving. Follow Science. Amen!”

……. Um……… That guy looked familiar… He was green, and he was dressed like Santa Claus… You know what, nevermind. It doesn’t matter. That would make just as much sense as what the experts are actually doing, which is trying to take away and shut down every freedom you have that they don’t like, and destroy every institution that helps keep the States of America United. The overreaction has been out of control for far too long, it has been anti-scientific for far too long, and the experts have been allowed to dictate what we are allowed to do for far too long. Let’s stop listening to green clowns when they try to steal Christmas and everything else from us. One of the locals had this to say regarding the latest mandates,

“If that green @$$**** takes one step onto my property I’m going to blast him in the face with a shotgun. I don’t want to do that. I won’t hesitate to do that.”

What? Not all Christmas stories have happy endings...

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