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  • TJ Shaver

Dems spend money that hasn't been invented

Nancy Pelosi is still refusing to help Americans eat because she thinks it might make Donald Trump look good. Even Wolf Blitzer and Jake Tapper (those guys are CNN anchors and NOT two of Santa’s reindeer which is what I had always assumed) have called her out on it. What she is doing is so obviously egregious that even the activists at CNN felt compelled to say something, which is saying something considering they never say anything to challenge a democrat. Pelosi claims she won’t approve it because she isn’t getting everything she wants, which include things like a federal ban on voting I.D. laws, giving illegal immigrants retroactive stimulus checks, and freeing prisoners who have asthma or diabetes. Since I already called Santa Claus to ask him about his reindeer I also got a quote with his thoughts on the stimulus situation,

“I couldn’t even fulfill Nancy Pelosi’s wish list, and I’m Santa Claus for the love of… 'Scuse me. Seriously though this is ridiculous, there’s one provision where they spend a trillion dollars of ‘Whatever kind of money is invented next’. These people are bozos. I knew I should have run for Congress. They said no one believed in me though…”

No one believes in him because he isn’t real. That guy turned out to be a homeless guy named Satan Claws that I dialed up on accident due to my sub par reading skills and anachronistic use of an old fashioned phone book and rotary telephone. Everything he said about the democrats turned out to be true however, because even a slovenly morbidly obese bum named Satan can see that what Nancy Pelosi is doing is despicable and dishonest. The democrats are using the pandemic as an excuse to grab as much power as possible and are holding Americans financial and mental health hostage in order to do it. Read the HEROES Act if you don’t believe me. Read any of their stimulus proposals. Some Guy who read the HEROES Act had this to say,

“What the #$%! was that?”

I couldn’t have said it better if I made it up myself.

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