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  • TJ Shaver

Dems move to impeach Trump over SAT collusion

A shocking book has just come out that may mean the walls are closing in on President Trump. This may be the beginning of the end for the big mean bad man. A bombshell report. All the other nonsense phrasing the media uses every time someone says anything bad about the President. It turns out that according to the President’s niece, Donald Trump is not the academic diamond we all thought he was. A shocked nation heard her claim that Trump hired someone to take his SAT for him. Trump had this to say about the test,

“I took the test, and you know what? I got a bigger, better score than anyone, especially, and get this, especially Barack Obama. I heard Obama failed his SAT, but that doesn’t matter, the point is, the SAT is a great test, the best, there’s really nothing like it, frankly, and I took it and I got the biggest score anyone has ever gotten.”

When Nancy Pelosi heard of this she dropped the ritual sacrifice she was participating in and called a press conference where she announced immediate plans to impeach Trump for collusion to cheat on his SAT’s. Adam Schiff got so excited all the blood rushed to his head and it swelled up and he began floating away. He has an abnormally large and bulbous head and when the wind catches him just right he tends to go with the updraft. Schiff had this to say after a brave man jumped and caught his shoestring and gently brought him back to Earth,

“I am so excited, I mean horrified, to learn of the President’s collusion with a possibly Russian foreign exchange student. Who said Russian? I just did. Now print it and it’s practically fact. Anyway, the Russian collusion for his SAT’s is a threat to democracy and he must be removed. I’ve seen the evidence, and trust me this time, it exists, unlike every other time I’ve ever said that.”

We will follow the story until Adam Schiff can deflate his head and Pelosi finishes whatever robed ritual she has scheduled for today.

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