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  • TJ Shaver

Demonic old hag admits sacrificing your job

Speaker of the House Nany Pelosi may look like an old leather bag struggling to control the shakes until she can sneak in her next nip off the ol’ bottle of hooch she keeps stashed on her leather purse of a person, but that’s only because she is. She also seems to be possessed by several demons and some have even speculated that she is satan himself. Unnamed sources who are me have even claimed to have spotted her having a pedicure on her cloven hooves, and she was not wearing a mask while doing so, although she did have an extra dangling from her left horn. The source is typing this now,

“Look at her. I can’t say that she’s possessed by demons, but I know a drunk when I see one, and that woman is possessed by demons for sure. She’s also a drunk. If those aren’t withdrawal shakes it’s probably something much worse, so best case scenario is she’s just a senile old crazy lady with crippling alcoholism making selfish decisions that’s causing millions of Americans to suffer because Donald Trump. Worst case scenario is the same plus or minus a demon or two.”

In real life she just admitted that she held up the stimulus package that could save millions of Americans from suffering and losing their businesses because she felt like it because Trump was mean and former lifeguard Joe Biden made a pledge to fist fight the coronavirus until it taps out like Corn Pop so many years ago. She’s an evil old hag and it’s a disgrace that she’s still the speaker of anything other than a fast food drive thru, another job for which she is ill-equipped, under-qualified and over-inebriated. Pelosi, living leather and alleged lizard person had this to say regarding the millions of people she screwed over because she’s an evil old demonic hag,

“What are people?”

This lizard smells like booze.

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