Defund the Police!

The recent cries of “Defund the Police” are music to my ears. I’ve always thought Sting was overrated and I’m glad someone is finally standing up to him. I don’t know why we’ve all been buying his albums for 30 years but it is definitely time to stop. I don’t blame the Police as much as I blame Sting but they are involved too, they contribute to the hits we hate. Someone who claims to be an actual fan had this to say,

“Come on, Roxanne? You don’t like Roxanne? I don’t need to name one more song, I named that one. Everyone loves that song. Don’t they? Or do we all just think we do? Maybe I don’t love Sting and the Police.”

I know what you’re thinking. What about Every breath you take and Message in a bottle? My response to that is, what about them? Overrated, and also Every breath you take is an anthem for stalkers. How has it survived the #MeToo era? Is there zero justice in the world? Don’t even get me started on Every little thing she does is magic. First of all, it’s a lie. There’s no such thing as magic. Also I can’t understand what you’re saying half the time Sting. We contacted Sting who told us this while barely restraining himself,

“It’s not about me you moron, it’s about the police force. The cops. Are you that stupid? Are you a real journalist? It’s about police brutality, do you really not know this?”

This guy will say anything to defend his lackluster discography. Who would want to defund the actual police?