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  • TJ Shaver

De Blasio gives Bane key to the city

After choosing to let his city be completely torn apart, New York City Mayor Bill De Blasio finally took some positive action. Instead of just standing idly by and letting it happen, he decided to speed the process up rapidly. In a bold move described by some as “the dumbest thing anyone has ever even thought of” the Mayor handed over all authority to Batman villain Bane. De Blasio had this to say,

“Well there’s nothing I can do to stop it so let’s just get this over with. Then, all you have to do is re-elect me, and I can be the one to rebuild and solve all of your problems. It’s the only way.”

No one would dare question logic as sound as that. Many people are questioning it though, especially since Bane admitted he plans to kill “lots and lots” of people. He also plans to destroy most of the city and drive the majority of its citizenry lucky enough to be alive either out of the city entirely or underground completely. He also plans to kill all politicians and wealthy people. We don’t know if the Mayor realizes he is in both of those categories or not.

The Mayor’s daughter has been arrested at one of the protests but was immediately released when they realized who she was. It might give him enough credibility with the mob to spare his life but judging from the reception he’s been given at recent rallies, we expect him to be out of New York within the hour.

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