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  • TJ Shaver

Covid quits

After terrorizing the world for months it appears that the corona virus has finally thrown in the proverbial towel. Last week we were all going to die if anyone left home, especially to protest. This week if you don’t leave home to protest you are killing different people in a different way. It’s all happening very fast but lucky for everyone, we have experts. An especially expert expert had this to say,

“It’s a well known fact that viruses hate racial tension. Once the racial tension rises, viruses tend to just give up. They are pretty racist that way. They never stick around to help. I haven’t seen Covid post a single meme in support of rich white kids burning down black communities. I haven’t seen Covid spray paint Black Lives Matter on any black owned businesses. It’s full of hate and it’s also a coward.”

Covid did not respond to our requests for an interview but the Swine Flu did. The Swine Flu had this to say,

“Covid is racist. I’ve always known that. I’m out here stealing from black people in the name of ending the oppression of black people, and where’s Covid? Disappeared as soon as it started. Can’t be a coincidence.”

While Covid refused to respond to our queries we did dig up some old tweets that provide proof of its racism. We aren't going to tell you what they said but you can trust us.

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