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  • TJ Shaver

Covid-19 farewell reunion tour!

Updated: Jun 27, 2020

We thought it was gone for good. We thought it would never come back. We are breaking news: The band is back together. Covid has patched up his beef with band member 19 and they are reuniting for one last tour around the world, this summer and fall, coming to a city near you. Maybe. They haven’t decided yet if they are going to do the full tour this time but they are definitely going to play a few shows here and there. Covid had this to say in an exclusive interview,

“We just miss the attention really. We loved being the entire news cycle for months. We had started to die out when our attention was stolen from us by deadly peaceful protests, but we want it back now. We’ll put up with each other as long as it takes to make this all about us again.”

The virus has been gaining more attention recently, especially in red states. It has killed way more people in blue states, way more, way way more, but don’t tell us that. We don’t want to know it. What matters is that it’s back, it’s angry, and we can’t wait for it to come to town so we can start scolding and shaming our friends and family again. It might be a deadly disease but it certainly puts on a good show. 19, who has been in witness protection ever since Covid beat her with a baseball bat at a peaceful protest had this to say via a Myspace message,

“I don’t want to see him again. But if it means killing some old people and making us popular again I’ll do it. I just love being the center of attention. And killing old people. Anyone weak or unhealthy or compromised in any way we love to prey on. We’re kind of like a communist in that way.”

No word on if the band will be playing the old hits or new material.

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