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  • TJ Shaver

Corn Pop endorses Biden

Corn Pop, a fictional character from Joe Biden’s addled mind, has finally endorsed Biden for President. In a press conference today a spokesperson for the former lifeguard told reporters that Corn Pop came to Joe in a dream and told him that he was behind him all the way, along with the rest of the fictional black villain community. The spokesperson told us this in an exclusive interview,

“It’s a big endorsement. We don’t know if he’s real or not but it doesn’t matter at this point. Our whole campaign is imaginary. Joe as a candidate is a fairy tale. It doesn’t matter what we do or say.”

Some have criticized Biden for hiding in his basement for the past few months while others point out that he has improved in the polls because of it. It seems that the less people see of him, the more they like him. Having the approval of someone from a ridiculous story Biden made up over a year ago probably won’t have much of an effect either way at this point. If you’re in you’re in and if you’re sane you wouldn’t vote for a senile grinning idiot. Another spokesperson who wouldn’t let me within earshot of Biden had this to say,

“I do speak for him. He doesn’t need to speak for himself, I’m here. Now what is your question? No he doesn’t know my name but that’s because I’m not important, not because he’s senile. You need to leave, these questions make my safety feel threatened.”

We backed away slowly and will wait to hear from your lawyers.

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