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  • TJ Shaver

Cop charged with using own face to assault a brick

At another peaceful protest where people died the police took their brutality too far. The protesters were merely screaming in their faces for hours as the cops stood there silently and protected the right of every one of them to stand their and scream in the face of the police. Eventually projectiles were pelted at the faces of the officers. They had shields so they were fine. At some point one of the cops took it way too far and he put his face right in the way of a brick that was flying through the air. The brick was stopped in its tracks and fell to the ground where it was chipped. The chip could have come from where it broke every bone in the officer's face but we doubt it. It really makes you wonder why the officer would want to chip the brick so bad. The brick had this to say,

“He must just hate me. That’s all I can think of. I was flying through the air and suddenly out of nowhere he just stopped me with his face. It was so unfair. Can you see the chip? It’s right there. No, that's a natural flaw. Yes right there. Brutal. I’ll probably never recover, emotionally or otherwise.”

The cop was unavailable for comment because his jaw was broken and he was missing several teeth and he had a severe concussion and his mouth was wired shut. How convenient. He has not been fired yet but there is already a protest forming to not only have him removed from his job but to press charges against him as well. A member of the newest mob told us this over the phone,

“We want his head for what he did to that brick. The brick already fought back and took half his face but we want all of it and the entire cranium. We will not be oppressed by any more faces. We’re coming for your face.”

We will harass the cop until his jaw is no longer wired shut and he can attempt to explain his indefensible act.

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