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  • TJ Shaver

Conspiracy nuts claim Joe Biden is old

Right wing conspiracy theories have been getting completely out of control lately. Republicans have been claiming that Donald Trump is the president for the last four years, they claim Hillary Clinton ISN’T the president, and some have even made the outrageous claim that Bill Clinton is a pervert. The latest accusations are against the Democrat nominee for president, former lifeguard and leg hair enthusiast Joe Biden. The right wing nuts have gone so crazy they are now saying that Joe Biden is old. Some have even accused him of being in his late 70’s. Even worse, some of the worst of the worst are claiming that his mental abilities are declining. Brian Stelter had this to say in defense of spry guy Biden,

“Joe Biden isn’t old, if he was old, could he ride a bike? No. An old person has never ridden a bike. Not even with a healthy dose of adrenachrome. That’s science. This is an apple. I am a toe. The crazy Fox News crowd is actually believing that Biden isn’t a young man like me. I’m 34. That’s true, google it.”

Critics have been pointing out that Joe Biden has been making substantially more gaffes than he used to, which is astonishing given that Biden is a serial botch artist. He has also been saying racist things at a surprising clip given that he used to space them out every couple of years. The most disturbing part for most hasn’t been the gaffes but the confusion and stumbling and constant mistakes and forgetting and stumbling over his words and forgetting where he is and accusing reporters of being on cocaine because they asked him if he’d take a cognitive test. Don’t listen to those critics though, they are conspiracy theorists. A man with a tinfoil tuxedo sent us this message via morse code,

“Joe Biden is obviously in a state of severe mental decline. It’s why he won’t do interviews and when he does they are a disaster. Watch any video of him in the last six months. It’s obvious to anyone who isn’t willfully blinding themselves to reality.”

Whatever bro.

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