Cleveland Browns become 'Cleveland Team of Color'

Progressivism never stops, never sleeps, and never has to make sense. The latest team to change their name even though it benefits no one is the Cleveland Browns. They are following the lead of the Cleveland Indians who are reportedly changing their name to the ‘Cleveland Burning Rivers’. The team revealed the new name today: The Cleveland Team of Color. The name change is to deflect any potential accusations of racism or any reference to skin color at all. The fans seem to hate it but Twitter loved it. The fallen hero the color brown had this to say,

“As long as I’m in the crayola box I don’t see why I can’t represent the worst franchise in football. I may not be the most fun color but I’m definitely the most functional, especially if you have any inclination towards realistic coloring. I was a great team name too. I died once, became a raven, but I came back brown and proud and now it’s stripped away. Thanks whites.”

No one asked them to change the name, it didn’t even seem to be on the radar. What the former Browns seemed to realize though is that the social justice movement has no limiting principles and therefore has no natural stopping points. Or unnatural stopping points. It is like a progressive disease, it can be treated, the symptoms treated, but it can never be cured and only grows worse over time. A progressively progressive progressive had this to say,

“I’m just mad they changed it before we could get mad about it. We rarely miss opportunities to get mad and throw tantrums and shame people. It’s just what we do. I can’t wait until the vernacular slightly shifts and this new name becomes extremely offensive and we can make them change it again.”

We will report back when Twitter decides the name is part of an oppressive system that needs to be torn down… and it has happened, Twitter is now outraged. Stay tuned.