Biden mandates 2 masks and 1 helmet

Dr. Fauci, that old lovable compulsive liar, has been holding on to life saving information again because he knows what’s best and he even knows when we the people need to be lied to in order for the experts like him to make decisions so that we don’t all die of stupidity. After he finally admitted that we should wear masks after explicitly stating on national television that there was “no reason” to be wearing a mask, people started wearing masks. Apparently that’s perfectly fine if you want everyone to die. Now he says we should be wearing two masks, because according to the science that us normies can’t comprehend “One mask is better than no mask, and two masks is better than one mask.” A man who has gone wayyy far out on a very thin limb is here to guess what comes logically after that,

“Hold on, just, stick with me here. I know it sounds crazy. Stupid even. No I can’t even say it, I can’t, it’s too embarrassing. Fine. Ok fine. Is 3 masks better than 2?”

Someone give that man a medal for math, because that is almost correct. Instead Joe Biden, recovering shampoo addict and grandfather of 2 children he refuses to acknowledge, has decided that a helmet will be the best addition to the masks. Biden says if your head isn’t protected, it could get hurt, and that was the best thought Joe has ever had so they ran with it. The media is raving and drooling and slobbering like the filthy hellhounds they truly are, and a shocking number of Americans are just going along with it as if any of this is acceptable. A woman shared this nugget of wisdom with me in the checkout line at the grocery store earlier today,

“Just put the damn helmet on. There’s a pandemic??? You want everyone to be safe right? You don’t want people to die? Then just do your part. We are all in this together. Just wear the damn helmet.”

I suggest you just DON’T do anything the government mandates from now on. You might need to get a helmet though, but not because they told you to, but because many of them are extremists who throw bricks at people’s heads.