Biden files restraining order against his own mouth

Earlier today Joe Biden’s legal team filed an unheard of request that surprised no one. The former lifeguard filed a restraining order on his own mouth after another disastrous interview. His legal team had this to say regarding the move,

“We can all agree that Joe is totally lucid and coherent and not exhibiting even a single hint of any possible dementia or mental decline in any way now, or even potentially in the future, say 4 to 8 years down the road, he'd still be perfect. Correct? Okay then. Joe does seem to have one problem. His mouth. Since we all know his brain is in perfect condition, it has to be his mouth. So we did what we do. We went after it without knowing what the hell we were doing, and we’re gonna win.”

The judge didn’t rule on the issue. He seemed rather confused and needed to consult with whoever the hell a judge consults with when he doesn’t know what to do. Experts have been ordered but the factory that produces them is temporarily shut down. We will stay on the story until someone with some diplomas on their wall tells me what I should think. Joe Biden's team added this at the last minute,

"Joe knows the thing."

Indeed he does. Biden 2020.