Biden defends mental state; moves there

Joe Biden came out with a bold statement today regarding his mental state. He defended it. That in itself is a bold statement. He then went on to proclaim that his mental state is so great that he will be moving there. He then went on to actually move there, confusing everyone around him, the media, and Biden himself who has since become lost in his own mental state and is hitchhiking down a deserted highway. A Biden spokesman had this to say,

“I’ll admit we knew his mental state was precarious. We didn’t know this could happen though. I don’t think anyone did. We are trying to retrieve him as we speak, and whether or not we do, his campaign will remain unchanged. He will be in his basement hidden from the public until inauguration day.”

Some people worry that Biden moving to a different state right now might complicate some kind of campaign finance rules or some other mumbo jumbo we don’t have the time or the integrity to do the research on. Others worry that with ol’ Joe being lost in his own mind it might make it impossible for him to run at all. Everyone else just pointed out that he has been an incoherent rambling mess for months now. A different Biden spokesman had this to say,

“Do you need a spokesman? Does anyone you know need one? Well that’s all I can do really, I’ve been spokesmanning my whole career. I double majored in it. It means I majored in it twice. It IS a real major! Joe? Yeah, he’s uh, he’s gone. He’s not coming back.”

We will report back if Joe does.