Biden concedes Senate race to Delaware Senator

Joe Biden made the concerns about mail-in voting fraud and Russian interference seem silly. As soon as it was clear that Delaware Senator Chris Coons was going to win Biden chose to bow out. It seems no one on his staff informed him that he was running for President and he still believed he was running for United States Senate. He did say it several times while he was campaigning but we just assumed it was because of his childhood stutter. Kamala Harris, the actual democrat candidate for President, shared this today and some people actually listened,

“Let’s be real clear here. I am going to do all the work that a President normally does, but I will retain the title of Vice President. After a few months we’ll phase it out and I’ll just be “first female President Kamala Harris.” And you saw that last campaign video I made right? Yeah, I’m a communist. That’s what equality of outcome means. I can’t believe you fell for it. I’m going to get Tupac to the White House right away for a celebration concert!”

The election happened yesterday, or if I’m being honest it’s happening right now but I write for when you read not when I write it so back off ok? I’m going to go ahead and say Trump won but Biden won’t concede and the media will start pushing a narrative about mail-in votes that need to be counted and voter suppression and how Republicans destroyed the Post Office by suggesting we can’t just suddenly have mandatory universal mail-in voting at the drop of a hat, and that was called undermining the integrity of the election. So there you go. The President had this to say,

“I won, I beat sleepy Joe and everyone knows it and frankly even Joe knows, that’s why he conceded to that Senator. He knew he lost but he couldn’t admit he lost to me. The media will pretend I didn’t win but I won bigger and better than anyone has ever won an election in the history of this country, and really if you think about it, the history of the world.”

By the time you are reading this I hope it’s true. If it isn’t…Good luck comrades.