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  • TJ Shaver

Bat signal replaced by virtue signal

Mayor of New York City Bill de Blasio has made a major announcement involving how his city will handle crime from now on. Following a recent spike in crime after he released large amounts of criminals from jail, riots that he has encouraged broke out all over the city and have continued for over a week, and people have begun to wonder how he will handle the crisis of his city devolving into a nightmare dystopia. Here is his plan: The bat signal is to be taken down and replaced by a “virtue” signal. He explains,

“Look we can’t go around arresting people who break the law. That would be mean. What we need to do is show them how much we care, in a way where it can be seen by everyone everywhere. This is the perfect solution, trust me.”

Initial speculation has people guessing that the signal will have a message like BlackLIvesMatter or a simple BLM. As soon as it was suggested everyone was too scared to say no to it, so that is what it will be. A spokesman for the movement had this to say,

“What the hell is a virtue signal? Huh… was the bat signal even a real thing? Then what the hell is he talking about? How does this help anything?”

No one knows but no one ever does. When the narrative is all that matters, nothing that anyone actually says or does matters, so you know what? Why not? Good luck New York!

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