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  • TJ Shaver

AOC bullied by racist, sexist, hallucination

AOC, who is an idiot, recently told a harrowing tale about the day the capitol was mostly peacefully protested. She was in her office when she heard a scary man pounding on her door yelling “WHERE IS SHE?” in that Christian Bale Batman voice that pretty much ruins three otherwise fine films. The young social media juggernaut was so frightened that she cowered in fear in her bathroom, too scared to even breathe. Fortunately for her it was just her imaginary cop friend showing up to tell her she should probably leave the building since the alarm was going off. Her imaginary police pal had this to say about the incident,

“I’ve been with AOC for a long time. I jump out and scare her, I yell racist things at her and I yell sexist things at her. That’s why she sees racism and sexism everywhere. I did the same thing to Jussie Smollett. At least he paid me though. I’m performing a useful service though. AOC has been so privileged and rich her whole life but wants to be a victim so bad that her brain created me to victimize her.”

I imagine that that imaginary cop gentleman has a lot more to tell me. Experts are speculating that this hallucinatory five-0 fella is the hitman that Ted Cruz hired to kill her. Cruz was asked about the invisible constabular companion but he pretended to not know what I was talking about. Democrats are now claiming they don’t feel safe around Republicans, and are pushing for them to be removed from… well, everything. I’m starting to think they want us dead, mainly because they’ve been saying for years they want us dead and now they are starting to justify their wants by claiming everything we say is dangerous disinformation that spreads hate and violence and we are spreading harmful conspiracy theories that incite insurrection and they want to establish a ‘Czar of Reality’ which is so similar to 1984 that the Orwell estate is suing the DNC for blatant lazy plagiarism. AOC had this to say regarding her story being a tall tale(or a blatant lie as people who aren’t liars would call it),

“Donald Trump, like, literally shot me in the face… and killed me… I’m dead… sooooo…. We better impeach him and stuff…”

This isn't any more silly than what is actually happening.

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