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  • TJ Shaver

2021 on pace to be silliest year ever

As the world continues to fall apart at an alarming rate, the only thing outpacing the decline of civilization is the inexplicable rise of the silly in our society. Our politicians are silly people in serious clothes doing serious work in silly ways. The media have become such a mockery of a caricature of an abstraction of an illusion of a… whatever, there aren’t enough words to describe how insidious and deceptive that bozo parade truly is and they aren’t worth the paper this article will never be printed on. Our experts are the silliest geese of all, dictating what we get to do based on what they say the science says even when the science doesn’t say what they say it says. In an exclusive interview with Dale Bo, a goose who lives in the woods behind my house and happens to be excessively silly, D.B. had this to say,

“I’m the silliest goose in the world this year. Not bragging, just um… well yeah, I’m bragging. It’s a big deal. We’re notoriously silly, so to be the leader of the pack, I really gotta bring it. I say all that just to say that the media calling what happened in one day at the Capitol ‘insurrection’ when they called months of the same in Portland ‘mostly peaceful’ makes me feel… not very silly at all. I feel suddenly sullen... somber... serious.... sober... I’ve been offered a show on CNN. MSNBC. NPR. I’ve accepted all of them.”

I’m sure it will be the best show on every one of those networks. Experts on rapid rises in silliness say excessive silliness in society signals socio economic collapse. Opposing opinions have been deemed silly and they are the experts in silliness so we side with the silly. So from now on Joe Biden is with it, Kamala Harris is charming, Andrew Cuomo is smart cuz he talks good and stuff, Brian Stelter isn’t a thumb, Nancy Pelosi isn’t living leather, Covid is going to kill you, impeachment is going to save you, and fact checkers check facts. Or something. A fact checker had this to say about this article,

“This is pure nonsense, I don’t even know what I just read.”

Sounds like our best work yet.

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